| well im off to florida tomorrow. for a week- spending every single
minute with my mother, she even sleeps in the same room when we got to
florda to my grandmas house. i will have to be eating like "normal" aka
lots of junk foods. i am going to gain soooo much eight its literally
like going to hell; all my work will be ruined. i am going to come back
a fat lard. im depressed just thinking about it. ahh.
happy holidays!
idk if i will be able to update/check xanga in florida because its my grandmas house and stuff...
i will deff tell you what happened once i get back to NYC tho.
stay string girls, love ya lots.
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| my binges are huge now consisting of up to 2000 calories. my gag reflex
is really bad now; harld working making it nearly impossible for me to
throw up. i need to stop my bulimimia, i need to stop my eating. my mom
still is annoying me. i need to loose alot by thursday so i can
actaullay eat for my birthdya at my favorite resurant and hopefully
enjjoy that one night of sinfull food.
xoxxoxox
tips are appreciated
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| so whats new?
my weight is teh same, my mom is still bugging me and i am still mia.
i want to get back to ana, my friends no call me anorexic all the time becuase i never eat lunch with them
usually i go to school ( skip breakfast) my mom makes me take a banana
and i usually take like 1 bite iof it and then throw it out at school.
then i have diet soda at lubch, then i get hom cook up some of my
favorite foods (usually chocolate chip pancakes) and then eat to my
hearts content and then violently throw them up. its really not fun.
and i dont even think tehy are worth b/p. so i want to go back to ana.
i throw away alot of the food my mom thinks i eat. i sorta feel bad,
living in new york in the winter time and seeing homeless people
starving because they dont have food and here i am throwing it out.
whatever.
i must look betterr because boys want me now. this one boy like really
wants me but im not sure what i think of him. and last nite i went to a
party and this one boy (i met him there) told my friends that he really
wanted to hook up with me, i probably would have but i was sooo drunk
and i culdnt put anything together in my head and i couldnt tell if he
was cute.
i do look skinnier and this boy in school calls me "jack" because i
supposedly am "skinny like the character Jack in the nightmare before
christmas" how random is that?
my size zero jeans are loose.
i still have so much yuck fat all over i really think i only lost bone density and muscle.
my mom is always bringing it up- we get newsweek and she like talked to
me about teh anorexia artical in it and such, its getting really
annnoying
im always cold
i dont like how pale i am, i am naturally a pale girl but this whole lack of nutrition makes me look even more pale.
im suprised my friends havent figured it out, they just joke about it
and i lie to them aboiut how much i eat when they arent around. i look
so much skinnier and it shoudl be obviuos but i guess its good that
they dont know
i will probably gain all the wight back when i go on vacaction to
florida over christmas because i will be with my family 24/7 and all we
do is eat there. and its mostly fast food and restuarnts. fuck fuck fuck
if i gain more tahn 3lbs i think i will just die, ah, the thought of being fatter than i am now just makes me want to die.
love you girlies so much
stay strong'
its worth it
xoxox
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| i havent gotten my period in likine 2months, are there any ways to
promote it? i need to get it to rid my moms suspisions and just
for good health.
101.5
i feel jiggly and gross but i think its mostly liquid and water weight.
but eww i am gross.
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| my mom keeps telling me that i am way too thin and shes gonna send me to the doctor
i mite have to end this
i am sorry
i am a failure.
i know
xoxox
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